A few years ago, I discovered I was a biological mother.

My essay, published in Fashion Journal, explores (in)fertility and the gendered issues it elicits: the stigma and blame placed upon women over the centuries; as well as the lack of representation of WOC, and other female minorities, in the modern world of fertility treatment and care. This is interwoven with my own personal experience of donating my eggs and what it’s like to be a child-free woman living in a pronatal society. 

Read the full article here.

The Venus of Willendorf, 30,000 BCE | Stone figurine which some believe is related to fertility due to the exaggerations of the feminine parts of the body
‘Sarah Leading Hagar To Abraham’ by Matthias Stomer, 1637 | Genesis 16:2, “And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.”

‘Primavera’ by Sandro Botticelli, late fifteenth century |Considered “an elaborate mythological allegory of the burgeoning fertility of the world.”
Source: Laura Wro
Henry Ford Hospital by Frida Kahlo | Kahlo was in a street car accident which caused damage to several of her internal organs, including her uterus, rendering her infertile
The Dodo bird went extinct in the sixteenth century. Their demise is often attributed to their ‘stupidity’. Is this what people think about me for not having children?
Screen shot of my Google search: white cis-couples holding white babies

I don’t miss it. I did for a while, but I realise that I am everybody’s mother. I’ve raised five of my younger brothers and sisters and now their kids call me Aunt Grannie.

Dolly Parton, Interview Magazine

There is a way to become a mother in this day and age which doesn’t include your name on the child’s birth certificate. You can express that maternal side, very clearly, very strongly. It feels very satisfying.

Kim Cattrall in an interview with Jane Garvey on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour